So I find myself on a rare occasion of attempting to draw, and I mean attempting and I find myself contemplating what has happened to my art over the past year or too...in the fact that its become non existent. Now I completely know the reason that I've stopped and in turn gotten worse and basically what I've drawn it down to is criticism, being so critical of my work and the of course the failings that come with it as I draw that of course it will never get finished or become nothing more than a guide lines. This is pretty much making me think about criticism in general and people saying that its vital for an artist to take it and be able to critique themselves in order to get better but how much before it becomes damaging? When I say damaging I mean in the sense it makes you start trying to make accurate well done drawings but stop having fun whilst doing it?

Looking back through my gallery for the first time well in probably forever I am finding now although I can say with certainty my early stuff was the largest pile of poo that I can conjure up in my head I can still remember the feelings I had whilst doing those pieces and the immense pride I had in completing them no matter how insanely rubbish they are now and even though I don't think I used as many visual references as I could have done the end result adequately matched the concept that I had in my head and just made me hungry to draw more. Whereas now nothing I attempt even comes close to my ideas and I just end up 'rage quitting' (for want of a better word) so I'm trying to figure out what exactly happened what stopped making it fun? I should have grown in skill thanks to all the guidance and criticism I have received over the years but I don't feel I have at all and why cant I not look at a picture I've done without cringing or wanting to burn it.

It probably makes people think I'm one of those people who will go apeshit at any comment I recieve that isn't OMG that's soo keeeeeewwwwllll!!11111!!!! but in all honesty and seriousness those comments just frustrate me and make me want to bang my head on the desk. Yeah I like hearing why something is good but I want to know why as I'm sure every artist does and if there's something negative to say again why is it a technical thing or just personal opinion.

So on one side I'm raging at myself and the other I'm confused and that's about it really I guess